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> Forgive Me, A short story by Magus
MagusRogue
Posted: Sep 26 2004, 06:42 AM
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Hey guys, i got insanely bored at work, and watching an episode of a cartoon (teen titans, if you must know) inspired me to write this. I give it to you guys. Tell me what you think. I know it's short. It was written in 20 minutes tops. If you like it, I might expand on it later.

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Forgive me

The flames around me leapt and danced with a mad passion, matching the hatred in my eyes. In front of me stood Larek, the tall man laughing gleefully, steel eyes staring through the thick mane of unkempt raven hair. I hated that laugh. I hated the blood stained across his black armour. But, most of all, I hated the saidin that flew through his veins. The same Power that flowed through mine.
Behind me, my saidin-enhanced ears heard Meri's sobs. In her arms, the warmth already fleeing his corpse, was Alesh. His eyes seemed to stare at me, condeming me, as if the fist-sized burn in his chest was my fault.
Maybe it was my fault. I did not stand in the path of the darkfriend. The village.... The eyes of children, the ones who were dancing and playing. Dead. Wives who moments before, here hanging laundry on drying lines. Dead. The farmer, who took up his pitchfork to save his home, the only home he had ever know. Dead. Every life that had lived in this village , extinguished in the flick of an eye. I could have stopped it, if only I had the courage to slay my mentor and old friend.
The rage boiled within me, tempered in saidin and blood. Too many have died from my cowardice. Color was lost to me. I only saw black now. Old Grim was waiting for me, but I did not care. Here, a amongst burning bodies and burning souls, it was finally coming to an end.
I didn't see the weaves as they formed. Spirit wrent a hole in the Pattern, opening a gateway to a place miles away. Meri and her fallen Warder were picked up and carried by Air, flung through the gate before a voice could give protest. I barely heard her pleas as the gateway turned sideways upon itself and closed.
Larek's face leered, filling my vision, all my senses. He drew upon saidin, and I knew he was going to kill me. I could not shield him, or hope to defend myself at all. I then knew what I was to do. I began drawing in saidin as well, but I refused to stop. It had to end now.
The One Power filled me, clouding my eyes, saturating every pore of my body. It burnt me to a cinder, it froze me in a glacier, ripping through me, but I still pulled more in. The leer fell off the dreadlord's face, replaced with sheer terror. Lances of fire scored my body, but I did not falter. Bolts of lightning wrent the earth, but i stood firm. I pulled on the True Source itself, and she answered my damned soul. The Light itself shown bright through me, blazing through the destroyed mountainside village.
Mother... My gentle brother Danith... My Beloved Meri. I wish I had time to tell you all how much I truly loved you. Please forgive me.

* * *

Altara earned a new story that day. They spoke in whispers, about how the Creator himself came down in a searing column of light, and made a lake on the mountain with his tears, weeping for a nameless wanderer. To remind them all, a spire of the purest marble stood in the middle of this lake. They call the monument Al'Adein Moridin. For the nameless wanderer, he had finally earned his Gentle Death.

Fin

This post has been edited by MagusRogue on Sep 28 2004, 03:18 PM


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Magus the Extreme. Your wonderfully-ghoulish GM of Patterns of the Weave. Be fearful, indeed.
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MagusRogue
Posted: Sep 27 2004, 05:28 PM
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wow.... two days up and five views, no comments... Man I must be worse than I thought.


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Magus the Extreme. Your wonderfully-ghoulish GM of Patterns of the Weave. Be fearful, indeed.
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Aleshandre
Posted: Sep 27 2004, 06:21 PM
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I actually thought it was good. I do have a suggestion though. IIRC, in the books, the Creator is never reffered to as it. That word seems out of place there and throws off the whole cadence of the story. I recomend "he", since that is the traditional gender for the Creator.


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MagusRogue
Posted: Sep 27 2004, 07:29 PM
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Hrm... if the Creator is not really used, should I just take it out and replace it? if I replace it, with what then?


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Magus the Extreme. Your wonderfully-ghoulish GM of Patterns of the Weave. Be fearful, indeed.
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Aleshandre
Posted: Sep 27 2004, 08:27 PM
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I mean that the Creator is never reffered to using the word "it". The word "it" should be replaced with the word "him", since that is the most common pronoun used to reffer to the creator (in the majority of human religions past and present, the being who "created" everything or simply is the most powerful/chiefest god is reffered to with masculine pronouns).
And yes, I got the humor.
Stop, you said the word that the Knights of NI cannot hear. No, not "is". Like we'd make it very far not being able to say "is".


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MagusRogue
Posted: Sep 28 2004, 03:15 PM
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lol


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Mantyluoto
Posted: Sep 29 2004, 08:27 PM
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I like it Magus

"Cracks Whip" now get back to work.


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MagusRogue
Posted: Sep 30 2004, 02:36 AM
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*blinks* erm?


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Magus the Extreme. Your wonderfully-ghoulish GM of Patterns of the Weave. Be fearful, indeed.
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Mantyluoto
Posted: Sep 30 2004, 11:27 PM
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crafting more of this tale.

i do think however that if interest in such stories grows then they might need there own forum page.

How about "Spokes of the Wheel" for a title.


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MagusRogue
Posted: Oct 1 2004, 02:15 AM
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*chuckles* I wouldn't mind it. I style myself an author, even if I'm not all that great at it. *Grins* a fanfic section would be nice, if done before. *done LOTS before*


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Magus the Extreme. Your wonderfully-ghoulish GM of Patterns of the Weave. Be fearful, indeed.
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Zarozynia
Posted: Oct 5 2004, 05:44 AM
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Question Magus, is this mountain lake something from the books I'm missing or something that you added? Either way, I love it, and may use it, if my players end up being nearby.

biggrin.gif


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MagusRogue
Posted: Oct 5 2004, 05:21 PM
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*Chuckles* it's something I made up. And set it so ambiguously that you can use it in any era of play. Glad you like it, Zar! I'm working on another story soon.

Question guys, you want to see more following this character, perhaps a reincarnation or just his past before he suicided? Or maybe something different? Author's always seek the advice of their fans.


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Magus the Extreme. Your wonderfully-ghoulish GM of Patterns of the Weave. Be fearful, indeed.
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Ezre Gael Bain Iavas
Posted: Oct 6 2004, 11:34 PM
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Teen Titans inspired this? What was in the episode!?

I must say, I rather liked it. Very good descriptions, and I liked the wording of the narration. It flowed rather well. I want to hear about how he met the warder and the chick, and about his master, and where he's from, etc. Look what you started!!

Ezre tongue.gif


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MagusRogue
Posted: Oct 7 2004, 02:07 AM
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LOL The episode where Terra kills herself to kill Slade. Very touching episode. cool.gif

and i'll get working on it!


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Magus the Extreme. Your wonderfully-ghoulish GM of Patterns of the Weave. Be fearful, indeed.
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Foxhead
Posted: Oct 11 2004, 11:27 AM
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FAN-bloddy-TASTIC! biggrin.gif
Sory 'bout my language, but that was one awsome storie.

And, the fanfic section idea - that is FAN-Bodd-and-bloddy-flamin-ashes-tastic idea.
biggrin.gif biggrin.gif biggrin.gif biggrin.gif biggrin.gif biggrin.gif laugh.gif
If it ever forms, here is a little chalange for those who participate

The forgotten Heroes.
Everybody knows the stories of Artur Hawkwing, Briggite Slverbow and the rest. But what about those who had done that were condemned to anonimity, but are still bound to the horn...........


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“Fortune rides like the sun on high
with the fox that makes the ravens fly.
Luck his soul, the lightning his eye,
He snatches the moons from out of the sky.”
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Foxhead
Posted: Oct 11 2004, 11:36 AM
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QUOTE
But what about those who had done that were condemned to anonimity, but are still bound to the horn...........

I ment: who had such heroics that they were bound to the horn, but were condemned to the anonimity.......

And, as soon as it's up (and I prey that it will be up.......wink.gif) I'll start with my chalange myself with the story of Archaim Cor'conde the one who who killed seventy dreadloards in a single day of a battle, and then was killed by the Aes sedai........


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Freak, an' damn proud of it!
QUOTE
“Fortune rides like the sun on high
with the fox that makes the ravens fly.
Luck his soul, the lightning his eye,
He snatches the moons from out of the sky.”
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MagusRogue
Posted: Oct 13 2004, 02:30 AM
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*chuckles* Who says the nameless wanderer ISN'T bound? Eh? Eh? Until I do more with it, you just don't know. cool.gif


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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand this rant's done.

Magus the Extreme. Your wonderfully-ghoulish GM of Patterns of the Weave. Be fearful, indeed.
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Foxhead
  Posted: Oct 13 2004, 11:01 AM
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*Chukles even more*
I never said he wasn't. Actually, I cheer for him to be.....
I sat up the chalange, so as many people as can would write stories with such layer. BTW, If you sat up the timeline to troloc wars, I'll be sure to mention something out of your storie. wink.gif


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Freak, an' damn proud of it!
QUOTE
“Fortune rides like the sun on high
with the fox that makes the ravens fly.
Luck his soul, the lightning his eye,
He snatches the moons from out of the sky.”
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MagusRogue
Posted: Oct 13 2004, 04:22 PM
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*chuckles* it was when there were actual dreadlords. what i did wiht this, though, was never bothered to give it a time. hell, it could have been in AoL, if not for Meri's Warder.


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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand this rant's done.

Magus the Extreme. Your wonderfully-ghoulish GM of Patterns of the Weave. Be fearful, indeed.
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Foxhead
Posted: Oct 13 2004, 10:29 PM
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Well cool.gif , looks like we're both writting stories that happen in roughly the same time period biggrin.gif

It could get interesting. laugh.gif


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Freak, an' damn proud of it!
QUOTE
“Fortune rides like the sun on high
with the fox that makes the ravens fly.
Luck his soul, the lightning his eye,
He snatches the moons from out of the sky.”
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